


The Hangayover: Everybody's Gay, Dave

by Worffan101



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex and Astra are ridiculous saps, Astra is a dork, Beta'ed by the amazing Mollie Wild, Dorks in Love, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay, Help, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this instead of doing finals, I wrote this while depressed, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor wants Kara like a lot, M/M, MY GAY BABIES, They love each other, They're All Gay, Written the week before finals in what little free time I had since I made a promise, alex is a dork, literally Mollie you are the best, might or might not have helped, oh my god will these two idiots ever just spit it out, terrible gay puns, this shit is gay, world of gay, you are the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worffan101/pseuds/Worffan101
Summary: Written at the same time as my still-unfinished Supergirl Secret Santa Femslash fic (which WILL be done, if unbeta'ed, despite the 15-page paper I have due on the 19th).Astra In-Ze and Alex Danvers wake with the Superfriends after a night in Las Vegas.  Not only do they have no memories of the night before, not only did they somehow lose Mon-El, not only did they apparently steal a baby, but they're all married and don't know to who.Oh, and there's a tiger in the bathroom.Gifted to whatsyeroffer for being really wonderful and friendly.





	The Hangayover: Everybody's Gay, Dave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whatsyeroffer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsyeroffer/gifts).



> Ok, background for this…  
> \--Astra was arrested by the DEO after surrendering, helped to stop Myriad, and is now on probation in Alex’s custody.   
> \--This is mid season 2, Mon-El is not a total asshole, just a dumb fuckup. No Kara/Manhell bs.   
> \--For the purposes of this story Trump won the election, but he’s in the middle of being impeached for treason, obstruction of justice, abuse of power, perjury, and tax fraud.   
> \--Be warned, this is super gay.   
> \--Despite the name, technically Kara is pan and Lucy and Liz are bi and James and Winn are Questioning (tm) and Mon-El is I really don't give a fuck, but look, they're all in homosexual relationships so I'm calling it gay and making all the gay puns I can because I need it after seeing friends' reviews of the new Supergirl season and being miserable about the insufficient amounts of gay.

“Are we there yet?” 

Alex Danvers groaned and took one hand off of the wheel to make an angry gesture.  “We’ll get there when we get there!” 

“Come on, Mon—uh, Mike, just let her drive,” James remonstrated.  The secret agent in the driver’s seat rubbed her eyes. 

“Well be there in twenty minutes, alright?  Just sit tight and we’ll be there in no time.” 

Alex wished not for the first time that she hadn’t agreed to ferry Kara and company in Kara’s minivan (or rather, Eliza Danvers’s borrowed minivan, the only way to transport 5 Humans, 2 Kryptonians, and a Daxamite plus everyone’s bags and Lena Luthor’s two suitcases full of clothes that probably cost more than Alex made in a year, on the 4-hour trip to Vegas and the equally long drive back without anyone being murdered because someone else got cabin fever) on the first full weekend she’d taken off in over a year.  Part of that was probably because of the impatient Daxamite in the back seat. 

“What is there to do in this city?” Astra asked from Alex’s right, having spent most of the trip reading a _Star Trek_ licensed novel on Kara’s Kindle. 

“Gambling, drinks, strippers, all the debauchery you could want,” Alex grumbled.  “I’m just here for the drinks.” 

“Hey!  There’s food, too!” Kara interjected from between Lucy and Lena in the second row.  “You can’t forget the most delicious sin.” 

Alex rolled her eyes.  “Just try not to get us banned from any buffets, Kara.” 

“ _Seriously_?” Winn asked.  Kara blushed, and Alex chuckled. 

“Oh, yeah.  The cooks love her, management hates her.  My sister, the bottomless pit.” 

“You love me, though,” Kara shot back. 

“True,” Alex acknowledged.  “Alright, everyone, just sit tight for another 20 minutes, OK?  Then you can have all the sin you want.” 

***

_The next morning…_

Alex Danvers was lying on something soft and warm. 

She grumbled incoherently as light filtered through her mostly-shut eyes, scrunched them closed, and nuzzled further into her surprisingly firm and warm pillow…

A pillow which offered an answering hum and stroked a couple of fingers through Alex’s hair. 

_Wait, what_? 

Alex jolted up, overbalanced, and fell to the floor with a yelp and a stab of pain in her shoulder.  “Gah!  What the…” 

“Alexandra?” 

_Oh no.  Oh, no, no. no…_   This couldn’t possibly be what it seemed like.  That couldn’t be Astra, she’d never speak to Alex again…

“What’s going…” groaned a male voice from behind Alex, followed by a _thump_ , a yell of pain from the floor behind Alex, and a high-pitched, feminine scream from the other room.  Alex clambered to her feet, and… _oh, no_.  The woman climbing out of bed to help her, the woman Alex had been sleeping on, was _Astra_ , her Kryptonian roommate who she was technically supposed to be monitoring on her parole for trying to conquer Earth to save it (long story).  And she was wearing the rumpled remains of a tight, white dress that left very little to the imagination. 

“What the hell?” Alex groaned, clutching her head as a spike of agony stabbed through her skull.  “Astra?”  Not hugely eloquent, but she was having a bad morning. 

“Yes,” Astra confirmed, wide-eyed but apparently intact, then looked over Alex’s shoulder and frowned.  “Mr. Olsen?” 

Alex turned.  Kara’s friend and technically boss James Olsen was wearing a tie on his head, Deadpool underwear, and a Hawaiian shirt, and had apparently passed out on the couch with Winn Schott (another of Kara’s friends, currently employed by the DEO as a computer expert), who was wearing a stained tuxedo with the coat backwards and his pants…Alex looked around, spotted them on a chandelier, and resolved that she didn’t want to know. 

Oh, _no_.  She was drawing a complete blank on all of last night.  What had she _done_? 

“I have no idea what happened,” James insisted fervently.  Winn nodded rapidly as well. 

“Lyra’s gonna _kill_ me,” he moaned.  Alex rubbed her eyes, looking around—James cursed as he apparently discovered his Deadpool briefs for the first time, and Astra swiftly yanked a sheet off of the bed to wrap around herself as a toga. 

A door burst open, and a frantic Kara clad in a sheet flew through awkwardly.  “AlexhelpIwokeupnexttoLenaLuthorandIwasnakedsomething’sgonereallywrong!” 

Astra, James, and Winn exploded with questions.  Alex pinched the bridge of her nose, took a breath, and tried to block out the shouting of two Kryptonians and two panicked Humans.  “Alright, just quiet down for a second!” she yelled.  The room quieted.  All eyes turned to Alex, who glanced around the (fantastically posh) room and took a breath.  “OK.  So first things first, _where are we_?” 

“Hotel room in Vegas,” James supplied. 

“We got free rooms because Kara won that pie-eating contest last month,” Winn added.  “And Kara dragged you and Astra and Lena Luthor along, James brought Lucy Lane, I brought Mon—uh, Mike, because he’s tired of living on base and I wanted to show him a good time.” 

“And I woke up next to Lena Luthor and she was naked and I was naked and she looked really gorgeous with the way the sun came through the curtains and I don’t know how I got there!” Kara reiterated, which Alex had to admit was a pretty important thing to worry about, and she should probably kick Lena Luthor’s ass a bit or at least give her a shovel talk, but whatever, first things first, she had two Kryptonians in various degrees of terrified and her own bizarre lack of memories to deal with. 

“OK, so…Lena?”  The aforementioned Lena Luthor, looking like an electrified panda due to smudged eye shadow and mussy bed hair, emerged slowly and nervously from the same door Kara had come out of, wearing a bathrobe and carrying…  “Is that a _baby_?” 

“Oh, noooooo,” Kara moaned.  “Tell me we didn’t steal a _baby_ …” 

“I don’t remember anything from last night,” Lena admitted.  “So…quite possibly?” 

Alex groaned internally as Kara began to turn back and forth indecisively in panic.  “First things first!  We need to figure out what happened last…”  Another door burst open and a frantic Lucy Lane emerged. 

“My ring!  I lost my goddamn ring!” 

“Your…oh, _shit_ , your parents’ ring?” James asked, eyes going wide. 

“Yes!  My mom’s two-hundred-year-old family heirloom engagement ring, the one that she gave to me to use after Dad cut Lois off for marrying Superman!” Lucy started looking under the couch, frantic, heedless of her own bizarre backwards-jeans and sports bra ensemble. 

“Well, maybe one of us has…”  Alex looked down at her hand, and screamed.  “SHIT!  Shit!  When did I get married?”  There, on her right ring finger, was a slim gold band. 

“You got _married_?” Kara screamed.  The baby made an unhappy sound. 

“I don’t know, I’ve got the ring, don’t I?” Alex shot back—then she saw a flash of light from Kara’s hand and gasped.  “Oh god you too.” 

“What?”  Kara looked at her hand, then yelped and crashed into the chandelier.  “Oh Rao, what happened last night?” 

“I have one too,” Astra reported, failing to hide her concern.  “These are customary in Ea…”  She caught herself, noticing Lena, and corrected, “American bonding ceremonies?”  Kara landed from the chandelier, sheet held precariously up with one hand as she picked bits of faux glass from her hair. 

“Yes,” Alex groaned.  “They’re a symbol of marriage…oh god did we all get married?  Did we rob a jewelry store?”   

“Oh, _god_ no,” Lena groaned.  Alex turned to look…and yep, there was another ring.  Shit. 

“Found something!” James reported, crawling out from under the bed.  “There’s a ring box…empty.” 

“I think that’s Lucy’s shirt,” Lena offered, pointing at a torn, wine-stained blouse on the floor; James checked it, and held something up. 

“Got a ring!” 

Lucy shook her head.  “It’s not _the_ ring, though!” 

“It has ‘E. B. heart L. L.’ inscribed on the inside,” James reported.  Lucy went white, took it, and checked its fit on her finger. 

“Oh, _shit_.” 

“I’m just, uh…gonna go use the bathroom real quick,” a shell-shocked Winn (visibly wanting to flee the scene) reported, opened a third door…and screamed in terror as a tiger snarled, lunging at him.  “AAAAHHHH!!!!!” 

Kara and Astra were in motion before Alex could so much as move, the former bundling the enraged cat into the bathroom as the latter pulled Winn back then blurred over to shut the door. 

“Shit!” Winn gasped, “Shit, shit, what the shit?” 

Kara turned back to Alex, wide-eyed, and jerked up her now-half-shredded sheet toga up to properly cover herself.  “What _happened_ last night?” 

“I think that discovering the truth of that should be our first order of business,” Astra suggested.  Alex nodded, wide-eyed in shock at the _freaking tiger in the bathroom_.  “We should have clean clothes in the suite.” 

“Yeah.  Yeah, um, OK, yeah, let’s do that, and then figure out what to do with the tiger…  So…teams, I guess.  James with Winn, Lucy with Lena and Kara, the baby’s your problem…” 

“Hey!” Kara objected. 

“Just do it and sort out your stuff with Lena!” Alex groaned, pinching her nose.  “I’m sorry.  But you two know each other better than Lena knows Astra and me or vice versa…which leaves me with Astra and Mon--Mike.” 

“Hang on a sec,” James spoke up.  “Where _is_ M—uh, Mike?” 

They had exactly two seconds to let the realization sink in before the baby woke up and started to cry. 

***

“Where shall we search first, Alexandra?” Astra asked.  Kara, Lena, and Lucy had been dispatched with the baby to try to find the group’s missing minivan and to try to find the baby’s mother.   James and Winn had gotten changed and were out looking for Mon-El.  Alex and Astra were in charge of retracing their steps, and hopefully finding where the tiger was from. 

They had two hours until their planned rendezvous, as Kara’s phone was a mangled pile of circuits, Alex’s was dripping water on the end table, James and Winn’s phones were missing, Lena’s was out of battery, and Lucy’s had been disassembled and even Kara and Lena’s quick reassembly did not restore its function. 

“Front desk,” Alex grumbled, trying to ignore the impure thoughts of Astra in the sheer white dress and Astra getting changed, or the fact that they’d found a white suit in approximately Alex’s size strewn about the room, or the crisp pantsuit on loan from Lena that was far too tight for Astra’s larger muscles and slumped a little oddly over Astra’s muscular chest, despite the Kryptonian having considerably smaller breasts than Lena (and Alex had inadvertently slept on Astra’s collar bone, so she could state positively that they were—no, _impure thoughts, out, out!_ ), or the way that Astra looked at Alex in her jeans and flannel shirt…

OK, Alex was not exactly in great mental shape right now, but neither were any of the others and this had to be done. 

She kept her determined demeanor all the way into the elevator, at which point she slumped against the wall and groaned.  “Was it too much of me to just shove the baby onto Kara?” 

Astra cocked her head to the side, thinking.  “Given our situation?  No.  She must, as she has put it before, put on her big-girl pants.” 

Alex heard the implied _And so should we_ in there, and nodded with a sigh.  “Great.  Just great.” 

“Alexandra…” 

“Let’s just figure out what happened and go from there,” Alex cut the Kryptonian off, voice brittle.  “C’mon, the front desk’s this way.” 

The man at the front desk, immaculate in a tuxedo and bearing an elaborate moustache, saw the two women approaching and snapped to attention, eyes momentarily widening before he schooled himself into a winning smile.  “Ah, I see that Madame has returned for more.  Unfortunately, Madame, you may have difficulty transporting your winnings with only two people, may we please offer you the services of a valet and busboy?” 

Alex stopped cold.  “Winnings?” 

“Yes, Madame.”  The moustached man attempted another smile.  “Madame had a most astounding run of good luck at blackjack and seven-card stud last night.” 

“Uh…”  Alex rubbed her forehead, and almost jumped in shock as Astra slipped up behind her almost close enough to touch.  “I, uh, don’t remember much of last night.  What exactly happened?” 

The man licked his lips.  “Er, I was first made aware of Madame when she and her wife approached this desk at approximately 10 PM last night with Madame’s first ten million dollars…” 

“Wait, my _wife_?”  Alex furrowed her brow.  She was still new to the whole _gay_ thing, she didn’t…she wasn’t impulsive enough to…oh no, she was going to go down in history as the most stereotypical lesbian _ever_ … 

The man nodded.  “Yes.  She is standing right next to you, Madame, I was under the impression that you two were married.”  He angled his head towards Alex’s ring-bearing right hand.  

“Oh, Rao,” Astra said as Alex turned to her in shock, the Kryptonian flushing bright red.  Alex opened and closed her mouth, brain failing to process until…

“Can…can we see the security footage, please?” 

And despite being a secret agent trained in interrogation and investigation, Alex did _not_ know what to make of the blush on Astra’s face. 

***

Kara really wasn’t trying to look at Lena. 

She wasn’t! 

But Lena just looked so…so _perfect_ , flawless now that she’d donned her makeup and a crisp black pantsuit, even with the baby harness on her chest holding the currently-named “Little Clark”, she looked so calm and controlled and motherly as she fiddled with the rattle to entertain the baby…well, Kara’s gaze kept tracking to Lena, and then she’d look up and Lena would be looking at her and she’d blush from head to toe and Lena would blush and they’d look away, and Kara didn’t know _what_ was coming over her. 

And maybe someone else, someone who didn’t care for Lena’s feelings and didn’t know how hard she worked to Not Be Lex would say that Lena’s makeup was too heavy over her eyes or her hair wasn’t entirely controlled din her bun and her pantsuit combined navy blue with dark grey rather than pure black and her eyes were visibly bloodshot, but Kara wasn’t like those people, and all she would ever admit was that Lena was perfect. 

“Can you two quit making the heart eyes and help me figure out who I apparently married?” Lucy grumbled.  Kara and Lena both jumped guiltily. 

“Heart eyes?  Who?  Me?  Pfft, nah, I’m not making heart eyes, definitely not!” 

“Just find a bloody RadioShack, we need phones so we can find the van quicker and then get Little Clark’s mom, wherever and whoever she is.” 

“I can, uh, go and look around for it, in a totally normal way…” 

“Kara,” Lena interrupted with a Look.  “Your super-suit was stuffed in my luggage when I went to get dressed.”  Little Clark made a hiccupping sound that might’ve been the predecessor to a tantrum; Lena shook the rattle and got him to grab at it awkwardly.  “Also you literally flew off of the bed and hit the ceiling when you woke up on top of me.  I saw the hole in the plaster on the ceiling.” 

Lucy facepalmed.  Kara went beet-red, stammered, and finally just groaned and rested her face in her hands.  “This is the worst day EVER,” she whined. 

Little Clark hiccupped, turned to the side, and projectile-vomited across most of Kara’s front and her shoes, somehow missing Lena’s clothes entirely. 

***

“I still can’t believe we _stole a police car_ ,” Winn said for the 15th time.  James gripped the steering wheel with knuckles going a shade of lightish tan. 

“We don’t know if _we_ did it,” James reminded the computer tech.  “If we’re stopped we just say we don’t know anything and woke up without memories of last night.” 

“I know,” Winn said for the umpteenth time.  “But we’re _in a stolen police car_ and we have no idea where Mon-El is.” 

“I know.”  They drove in silence for another minute or so, then James said,

“So who do you think we married?” 

Winn shuddered.  “I don’t know.  I _really_ hope it wasn’t Alex.” 

James shuddered, too.  “Oh god.  She’d _kill_ us.” 

“Honestly I hope it wasn’t Kara, either.” 

“Stop, I won’t be able to look Alex in the eye!” 

Another moment of silence.  Then,

“I hope the women are doing better than us, at least.” 

***

“This looks like the place the people at the wine store told us we were looking for,” Alex said, approaching the gaudy casino topped by a scale replica of the Eiffel Tower.  “Hopefully we won the ten million here.” 

Astra eyed the building critically.  “What, exactly, is the _point_ of that structure?” 

“I don’t know,” Alex admitted.  “Probably because people don’t want to actually go to France to see the real Eiffel Tower?” 

“But then why…” 

Alex shrugged.  “Who knows?  I’d say it’s cheaper, but it’d probably be less expensive to actually go to Paris.  Better food, too.” 

Astra hummed as they walked inside.  “We should go there on our hon—our next vacation.” 

Alex blushed.  “I mean…you’re probably married to…we have to get…I mean assuming we aren’t…oh god.  You can fly over to Paris whenever you want, though?” 

Astra nodded with a frown.  “I suppose…but are you willing to fly with me for that long?  I…”  She trailed off.  Alex stopped and turned, brow furrowed. 

“You don’t need me with you on vacation, Astra, it’s been over six months and you helped us with Myriad, I trust you for a weekend alone.” 

It was Astra’s turn to blush.  “I would miss our dinners,” she blurted out.  “I like it when you watch me cook.” 

Alex’s hand found Astra’s, and the General took it gently, her fingers twining with Alex’s as their hands rose, Alex’s eyes going wide as Astra leaned in unconsciously…

Alex pulled away with a huff and cleared her throat.  Astra opened her eyes, a pang of regret striking through her, and saw Alexandra go even deeper red and cross her arms, looking anywhere but at Astra.  “We, uh, should check the security footage.  And then try to see where each of us got married.” 

“Of course,” Astra said, straightening and attempting a detached air.  “Lead the way, Alexandra.” 

Her Human hesitated, but then steeled herself, nodded, and made for the concierge. 

The concierge was a nervous young man, who lasted all of 5 seconds under Alex’s requests and “FBI” badge before he called the head of security down.  The head of security, a no-nonsense woman who audibly groaned as she saw the two women, took Alex and Astra into a back room and, flanked by two massive men in immaculate black dress suits and black sunglasses, said, “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t call the cops and tell them you pulled a gun on a dealer.” 

“I’m sorry?” Alex managed. 

“You were two of the idiots playing Russian roulette with the Russians last night.  I ought to have you both locked up.” 

Alex went pale.  “Wait, _what_?” 

“I do not understand,” Astra interrupted.  “If we were playing roulette with Russians, why would you need to specify that we were doing so twice?” 

“Astra…” Alex sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Where’d you pick this one up, Uzbekistan?” the head of security asked Alex, then turned to Astra.  “Russian roulette?  It’s a suicide game, lady.  You put one bullet in an old-school revolver, spin the cylinder, and shoot yourself.  If you get the chamber with the bullet you die.  Apparently you didn’t die after putting the gun in your mouth about thirty times in a row and they accused you of cheating.” 

“Oh god,” Alex groaned.  “Ma’am, we’re very sorry about what happened last night, but…why was there _Russian roulette_ going on here?” 

“Some Russians paid for a room, you two came in blitzed and ended up going back up to their room.  I gather there was a bet.  You apparently won and the Russians weren’t happy, so they tried to trick you, I think.  Either way we don’t let that bullshit happen here, but Management wanted to let it play since apparently the Russians have Kremlin ties.”  The head of security grimaced.  “Fucking bullshit, but you do what you gotta do in this town.” 

“Oh my _god_ ,” Alex groaned.  “Do you have security tapes?” 

“I’m still waiting on that reason why I shouldn’t have you thrown in jail.  Or, given that the Russians said that your squeeze here spat out a bullet, rat you out to the Feds for being an unregistered alien.” 

“If you lay one hand upon Alexandra…”  Astra began, but Alex slapped a hand over her mouth. 

“I _am_ the Feds.  Give us the tapes or I report _your_ corrupt organization up my chain of command.” 

The head of security sneered.  “Good luck with that, with Trump in the Oval Office.”  Alex glared at her, and the woman shifted from foot to foot.  “…alright.  Gimme five minutes.” 

Astra grinned beneath Alex’s hand in spite of herself.  Her Human had such an intimidating death glare, Astra found it so…er, well, attractive, yes, everything about Alexandra was attractive, but this was a mistake, Astra had already risked too much with that near-kiss, she shouldn’t risk things as they stood, right? 

The large, suit-clad men looked like they’d rather be anywhere else. 

The head of security came back shortly.  “Here.  Take this disc, and don’t let me _ever_ see you here again.  And don’t tell anyone what you did with the Russians.” 

“Believe me,” Alex grumbled, pulling Astra after her, “I’m _never_ coming       back to this town in my _life_.” 

***

“Alright, that’ll do,” Lucy grumbled.  “You look _fine_ , Kara.” 

“If you’re sure…” Kara began, doubtful.  The women’s emergency shopping trip had been delayed for around half an hour while they, with Kara’s help, found the minivan and bought it back with Lena’s credit card, but that had given Kara enough time to worry about her new outfit and now she was just a little bit paralyzed with indecision. 

To be fair, given that the first store they’d found was a souvenir shop and Kara’s choices were a T-shirt with a “My boobs are down here” label, an “I Won Big In Vegas And All I Got Was This T-Shirt” shirt, and adult-sized Supergirl and Superman pyjamas, such paralysis was understandable. 

“Kara, you look wonderful,” Lena cut in, making Kara blush deep and stammer.  “Now come on, we need to feed Little Clark.” 

The aforementioned baby was in the “hiccupping whine” stage and rapidly approaching “enraged scream”.  Kara’s eyes widened, and she picked up her Superman pyjama bottoms and House of El T-shirt.  “Right, let’s go!” 

“Do we know if he’s on solids or should we find a place to buy formula?” Lena asked. 

“There was some yellowy-white stuff in bottles in the minibar earlier,” Lucy remembered, waving a rattle in front of the baby.  “I think whoever his mom is already made some?  Cootchie cootchie coo?”  She attempted to make a cute face, which had no effect. 

“Or she’s breastfeeding and pumped some before she left.  Right.  Kara, go pay, we’ll hurry back to the hotel.”  Lena grabbed Little Clark’s rattle as the baby rejected her and Lucy’s attempts at soothing. 

“On it!” 

“I’ve got the diaper bag,” Lucy reported.  “Lena’s got the little sweetie…Christ, we’re all terrible at this.” 

“To be fair, none of us were mothers before today,” Lena pointed out, shaking the rattle desperately in front of Little Clark.  “Thank god we went in a bit of a circle.” 

“Thank god for Kara’s powers,” Lucy corrected under her breath.  “Without her we _never_ would’ve found the minivan.  Or paid off the towing people for that matter.” 

***

“There he is!” Winn shouted.  James slammed on the brakes; fortunately, as they were already moving slowly in the right lane, nobody pancaked into the police car’s rear. 

“Where?  Where?” 

“Talking to those guys in the suits over there!” 

“…oh, _shit_.”  James pulled over, put on the emergency lights, and ducked out of the car.  “Come on, let’s get him out of here!” 

The two men ran up, just as a massive, muscular guy jabbed a gun into Mon-El’s chest. 

“Listen, boy, Boss Chau says he wants his _fucking_ money, you understand?  And when Boss Chau wants his fucking money, _he fucking gets it_!” 

“Whoah, whoah, heeeeyyyyy,” James interrupted with a nervous grin stretched over his face.  “What’s going on here?  Mon—uh, Mike, jesus, what’d you do to get these fellows angry at you?” 

The gun swiveled to point at James, and he put his hands in the air with a curse.  “Holy…watch where you’re pointing that thing!” 

“Hello again, Jimbo,” a short Asian man wearing massive black sunglasses said, moving partway around another of the massive goons.  “Where.  Is.  My.  Money?” 

James attempted to grin again.  “Money?  Look, sir, I don’t even know who you are, I don’t remember last night at all…” 

“A convenient statement,” the short man pointed out, his voice oddly high-pitched.  “But even if I believed you, I don’t care.  Where is my money, Jimbo?” 

“I swear, I don’t know, I don’t know who you are!” 

“Neither of us do!” Winn helpfully added. 

The short man’s face shifted slightly under the sunglasses.  “You two really want to get it, don’t you?  You say you don’t remember who I am?  I am Boss Chau.  My father is head of the fucking Triad.  I paid your President twenty-five thousand fucking dollars to hide out in this country, and that son of a bitch charges anyone who’s not Russian higher.”  James decided that he _could_ , in fact, hate Donald Trump more than he already did.  “You and your friends the drunk women cheated to win five hundred thousand dollars from me at pai-gow.  You will return that money to me at once!” 

“Cheated?  I don’t even know how to play pai-gow!” Winn protested with a squeak. 

“It’s that game with the dominoes,” Mon-El piped up helpfully.  “You were really out of it, I think you called it ‘easy peasy lemon squeezy’ and then won a lot of money from this man.” 

“Oh god,” James groaned.  “Look, sir, we woke up confused and without any memory of last night, Winn and I apparently got married last night, and we still don’t know _who_ to.  Please, we’ll get you your money by the end of the day, just let us…” 

Mon-El moved in a blur, punching the big man with his gun out straight into Boss Chau’s SUV, then grabbing the other two men.  “Run!  Where’s your car!” 

“Oh jesus…” Winn managed as his legs sprang into gear, his reflexes acting even as his brain was paralyzed. 

“Here!” James yelled, pointing Mon-El towards the vehicle as angry shouts arose behind them.  He dove in through the passenger side window and clambered into the driver’s seat as the other two jumped into the back row.  “Hold on!”  He jerked the parking brake back, shifted gears back into Drive mode, gunned the engine, and screamed out of the right lane to the tune of numerous car horns beeping on angry instinct.  Behind them, a black SUV peeled out onto the main road, large men armed with large guns leaning out the windows. 

“SHIIIIIIIITTT!!!” Winn screamed, and James pulled a U-turn through a red light, somehow not getting pancaked by the traffic that rapidly turned into a multi-car pileup, and blasted well past the speed limit up the other side of the road.  Mon-El cowered, hands over his head to avoid the lead. 

Gunfire rang out, and one of the windows shattered, bullets _plink_ ing into the roof and doors, Winn and James screaming blue murder, but Boss Chau’s SUV was blocked by the pileup.  As the terrified men sped away, the mobster got out of the back seat of his SUV, whipping his sunglasses off, and screamed several profane insults in Cantonese at the retreating police car. 

“Put the fucking word out!” Chau yelled at one of his goons.  “Ten thousand for them alive, double if I have them by the end of the day!” 

***

“Please not the Elvis chapel, please not the Elvis chapel,” Alex muttered under her breath. 

“This does not look like _such_ a bad place to be bonded,” Astra noted as they approached the building under the massive _Graceland Wedding Chapel_ sign.  “At least, by comparison.” 

“Urgh,” Alex groaned.  “My mom would _kill_ me if I got married by an Elvis impersonator.” 

“Well, we _have_ checked most of the other potential sites,” Astra noted.  “Alexandra…before we enter…may we talk about…” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Alex insisted, not looking at the Kryptonian.  “We’ll figure out who married who and then file for a bunch of divorces and then everything will go back to normal.”  She clung to it, desperately, hoping against hope that her friendship with Astra might make it through the day.  Wanting more was too risky, and it was stupid to _want_ to have drunk-married Astra.  Right? 

Astra made a vaguely sad humming sound, and Alex instantly regretted her decision, but forced herself to keep walking and head into the chapel. 

The first person to see them was an Elvis impersonator eating a bagel on his lunch break; he looked up from his meal and started when he saw Alex walk in.  “Hey!  It’s the Livestream Ladies!” 

Alex froze in midstride, Astra walking straight into her back, and toppled with a yelp; Astra caught her in her inhumanly strong arms, and Alex felt a rush of mixed lust and _desire to cuddle_ as her alien gently re-set her on her feet. 

“Whoah!” the Elvis impersonator said, trotting up with bagel and water bottle forgotten on his little table.  “You alright, lady?” 

“Yeah…I’m…you recognize us?” 

He chuckled.  “Hell yes I do.  So nice to see you two again—lovely to meet you, ma’am,” and he shook Alex’s hand and offered Astra the same, “you two had the sweetest ceremony we’ve seen in months, and that while blind drunk, too!” 

“Oh god,” Alex groaned.  “You mentioned a livestream?” 

“Why are you wearing those bizarre sparkling clothes?” Astra asked, brow furrowed. 

The man laughed again, wearing a broad grin.  “I’m an Elvis tribute artist, ma’am.  Call me the King while I’m dressed up.  And the livestream—you don’t remember?  You two came in here around midnight last night, could barely keep your hands off each other, then said you wanted to get married.  You,” pointing to Alex, “said you’re an FBI agent and threatened to arrest people if you didn’t get your way, so we set up a livestream camera and you made us put it on Facebook.  You were wearing this white suit, looked really snazzy, and Mrs. Danvers here was wearing a simple dress, it was very sweet and made Marjorie—our clerk—cry.” 

Alex had gone sheet-white.  “Oh god.  Oh shit.  Um.  Can we check the, the registry, the records?  I need…oh god I livestreamed…oh god.  Astra, I’m sorry…shit, shit, oh hell what was I thinking?  Can we see the papers?” 

“Sure,” the King replied with a grin.  “Hey, I recorded the livestream too, lemme pull it up here on the computer, if you’re having trouble remembering this should help.” 

“Are you well, Alexandra?” Astra asked in concern, trying to keep a handle on her own emotions as her heart leapt with the knowledge that she was _bonded with Alexandra_ and fell with the worry that _Alexandra did not want her_.  She held her Human close and felt Alexandra’s arm clench around her, the agent’s face turning into Astra’s shoulder as Alex flushed deep red with embarrassment. 

“I got married to my sister’s aunt in the Elvis chapel and _I livestreamed it on Facebook_ ,” Alex said, muffled through Astra’s shoulder so that only the alien could hear it, then pulled back.  “Eliza’s going to _kill_ me.” 

“Here you go!” the King said cheerfully, handing Astra a DVD  and a copy of a certificate.  “You have the original already, or should, but there’s your paperwork, Mrs. and Mrs. Danvers.  The DVD has the recording.” 

“Oh my god,” Alex groaned again.  Then she went ramrod straight with a hiss of shock.  “Oh shit!  I need a phone!  Astra, come on, I need to call J’onn and then find out how angry Mom is!” 

She raced out the door, tugging Astra with her; the alien managed to hold on in the doorway for just one moment. 

“Thank you,” Astra apologized to the King, who waved her off with a chuckle. 

“No problem, ma’am, and I hope you enjoy married life.  Marjorie says she’s a keeper, don’t let her get away!” 

***

“I need to get back up there!  My baby!”  A petite woman with a short red bob and black eyeliner running down her cheeks begged the concierge. 

“Madame, _please_ calm yourself or I will have you forcibly removed from the premises…” 

Lucy and Kara, both people with a hankering for justice and the latter an actual superhero, heard the redhead’s pleas and the French-accented concierge’s rebuttal the moment they walked in.  They started towards the desk as Lena tried to shush an increasingly disgruntled Little Clark. 

“What’s the problem here?” Kara asked, hands on her hips.  The redhead spun, tears flowing down her face. 

“Kara!  Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re here, I just left the room for a few minutes, just to buy some new batteries for my pump, and I came back and the door was locked and Andrew was gone, everyone was gone, my baby!” 

“Wait, you know Kara?” Lucy asked, then gasped.  “Holy—the ring!” 

“ _Lucy_!”  The redhead flung herself, sobbing, at Lucy and clutched her desperately.  “Where’s Andrew?  Where have you been?  What _happened_?” 

“Whoah, I’m sorry, I don’t remember a _thing_ about last night…” 

Little Clark’s piercing wail split the air, and the redhead turned towards the sound instinctively.  “ _Andrew!_ ”  She sprinted halfway across the lobby and attempted to cradle Little Clark as Lena tried to shy away, the end result being that Lena fell with a yelp and Little Clark wailed louder as the redhead tumbled sideways. 

“Calm down!  Everything’s going to be fine!” Kara insisted. 

“ _Fine?  Fine_?  The redhead looked panicked, dark spots on her shirt as she and a wide-eyed Lena tried to unbuckle the screaming Little Clark—apparently, Andrew—from the baby harness.  “Where have you _been_?  I stepped out for _fifteen minutes_ , you were still asleep, I just needed to get some batteries so I could pump, and you kidnapped my _baby_?” 

“Hey!” Lucy objected.  “We woke up not remembering anything, we weren’t going to leave him in there with the tiger!” 

“ _Oh god you let the tiger out???_ ” 

“We, uh, well, we _dealt_ with the tiger?” Kara managed.  “Why was the tiger there, anyway?” 

The redhead shook her head.  “That was before you hired me, and a few hours before Lucy proposed.” 

“Please tell me we didn’t steal the tiger from Penn and Teller,” Kara groaned. 

“Wait, backtrack for me a bit,” Lucy cut in.  “Who exactly are you and why did I marry you?” 

“I’m Liz,” the redhead replied as she pulled her blouse partway up, Little Clark’s—or rather, Andrew’s—wails subsiding as he latched on underneath.  “Elizabeth Brown?  You married me last night because you wanted to spite your dad?” 

“We can’t remember anything from last night,” Lena said.  Lucy tried not to notice the way that Liz wilted slightly at that statement.  “I’m…I’m very sorry for kidnapping your baby by accident…um, do you maybe want to be somewhere private?  I mean, more power to you, but you should be comfortable…” 

Liz frowned in confusion at Lena, then glanced down at Andrew half-under her blouse, and shook her head.  “Nah, I feed him and pump in the dressing room at work all the time, and I got used to weird looks a long time ago.” 

“Come on, Lena, don’t mom-shame her,” Lucy grumbled, not quite knowing why she felt the need to leap to Liz’s defense.  “Wait, is mom-shaming even a thing?” 

“In this town, it is,” Liz confirmed. 

“Uh, I hate to interrupt, but there’s some big guys in suits coming this way and they don’t look happy,” Kara said. 

“I’ll get the diaper bag,” Lucy announced, trying not to get distracted by Liz’s vibrant green eyes.  _Keep it together, Lane!_   Lena helped Liz up and half-shielded her with her body. 

“It’s going to be alright,” Lena promised.  “Let’s…hmm, shall we sit outside for a little bit?” 

“Great idea!” Kara said hurriedly, shepherding her slightly-less-confused-than-previously party away from the incoming security men.  Liz, still somewhat in shock at all that had happened, allowed herself to be brought along, and Lucy tried desperately to pretend that she didn’t feel a strange surge of protectiveness as she looked at the young mother. 

“By the way,” Kara said cheerily, trying to keep Liz distracted with conversation, “What’s the story with Little Cl—I mean, Andrew?” 

“I told you—oh, right, no memories.   One-night stand, condom broke, I was off the Pill because I didn’t have much money and couldn’t afford Plan B because Congress left a loophole that got my health insurance slashed, and I couldn’t get a legal abortion and I wasn’t about to risk back-alley.  I should’ve gone home with a woman.  They always pay better at my regular job anyway.” 

“Oh, what kind of work do you do?”  Kara held the door for her.  “Can you get a raise?” 

“Not really,” Liz grimaced.  “I, er, dance.” 

“Ooh, Rockettes?” 

“Um, no.  Stripper.” 

Lucy Lane tried not to grin.  _Damn, apparently drunk!me has good taste_. 

***

“Mom, listen, I don’t remember…no, I don’t remember _anything_ …yes, thank you, I…no, I haven’t been dating an alien behind your back…yes, she’s Kara’s aunt…yes, she’s a former ecoterrorist…yes, she was considering mind-controlling the planet but Kara and I convinced her that was a bad idea… yes, I just found out I’m gay…what do you mean you always knew?  …oh god.  …Thank you, I’m glad you’re happy for me…no, I was just expecting you to hate me for this…no, I didn’t think you were homophobic…no, Mom, I really didn’t…I didn’t know for sure I was gay before today…thank you…yes I mean I guess it’s great that you’re supportive but I literally wasn’t certain I was gay…I don’t know, I really don’t, maybe I was in denial or something?  …Yes, we were drunk…no, I’m pretty sure it’s real, I mean now that I actually, you know, _think_ about things that way, I do…yes, I’m attracted to her…I don’t know what to do?  …I…Mom, I don’t remember anything about last night, Astra and I were playing Russian roulette with Russians and…oh god…yeah…yeah…no, she was the one with the gun, I was just drunk and in the same room…no, I don’t know why…we’re trying to figure it out, Mom…yeah, I guess I am really lucky…well I mean I don’t know about love, I was thinking we would probably have to get divorced…I mean we got drunk married in Vegas, what else _can_ we do?” 

Astra heard Alex’s half of the entire conversation even while trying not to eavesdrop from across the street, and desperately tried not to cry at the thought of _her Alexandra_ not wanting her, of wanting to _undo_ their bonding.  But she would do it, she promised herself.  If Alex preferred their previous situation, then that was what they would have; Astra would never keep her Human bonded to her against her will. 

Astra re-started the video of the bonding ceremony on the portable computer that she and Alex had bought with their new, vast amounts of money.  She tried not to cry again as her Human, admittedly slurring her words a bit, proclaimed everlasting love for Astra and “the way you cuddle with me when we’re watching _Star Wars_ and the sound of your breathing when I fall asleep on you on the couch after a long day and the way you sing those cute Kryptonian songs when you cook”; it wasn’t _exactly_ the bonding ceremony that Astra had always secretly wanted to have, but it still tugged at her heart.  Meanwhile, Alex’s conversation continued. 

“Yeah, Kara’s safe…she got married to someone else…wait what do you mean national news?  …Oh god Lena Luthor?  …that actually makes sense, alright, and Lena’s been a good friend to Kara…yes, I can talk with them…I think they probably should, again it was a drunk marriage and nobody really remembers it?  Uh-huh.  …I can _talk_ to them about that but I mean…no, I don’t want to break them up if they’re together, I just think that marriage is moving a bit fast…well yeah but… OK, I can…yeah.  We’re still in Vegas.  Uh, we split up, Astra and I backtracked our steps and found the gist of what happened…uh, Kara’s with Lena and Lucy, they’re going to try to find where the baby’s from…no!  No, there was a baby in the room, a live baby, Lena says he’s about six months old, he was in the room when we woke up…no, not with the tiger, the tiger was in the bathroom!  Yes.  Yes, they’re going to try to find out…no, our phones are broken or missing…Kara and Astra have super-senses, if we needed to they could find anyone…honestly I think we just forgot to get burner phones because we were panicking…yes.  Kara, Lena, and Lucy have the baby, James and Winn are trying to find, uh, an alien in DEO protective custody who came with us…no, he’s a Daxamite, they’re basically Kara lite from a hedonistic culture…yeah, he’s missing…uh, hang on, just a sec, Mom.  Hello, can I help you?” 

Astra looked up sharply.  Two black SUVs had pulled up to the curb near where Alex was talking on her phone, and several large men were emerging.  One, bearing a truly impressive beard and crisp mustache, crossed his arms in front of Alex. 

“ _Da_.  My name is Ivan Mikhail Vladimir Aleksandr Dmitri Vasily Semyenovitch Chernovsky.”  His accent was thick, Astra recognized it as Russian as she rose, closing the computer and packing it away into her new backpack as she X-rayed the large men and saw a disturbing number of weapons.  The flow of people along the sidewalk parted around Alex, giving the Russians a wide berth.  “I am a brigadier in the Bratva, and have friends in the Kremlin.  You cheated me last night, you and your alien whore.” 

“Don’t you _fucking_ dare call Astra that,” Alex snapped, bristling.  Two of the goons shifted their coats slightly, guns held carefully hidden inside their pockets.  Chernovsky growled angrily. 

“Shut up, you American _suka_.  I paid Putin good money, and he paid good money to get your President Trump elected, so I could come here and enjoy my vacation while my brothers keep my business running back in the Motherland.  And you have the _naglost’_ to cheat _me_ , Ivan Chernovsky, of more than _fifty million rubles_ , in one night, you little shit, daughter of a Yakut whore?  Give me back my money, _now_ , or there will be _consequences_!” 

Alex was out of patience.  “Look, Evan, I’m not sure what exactly happened last night, I was drunk and I don’t remember…” 

“A likely story,” Chernovsky snorted.  “And it is pronounced _Ee-vahn_ , not _Eh-vun_.  You arrogant American pigs, who don’t even bother to learn other people’s languages—you _annoy_ me.  And when I am annoyed, people tend to _turn up dead_.”  He gestured to one of the SUVs.  “So if you would just step in here, we can get this done nice and quietly, and if you are very lucky and return my money to me, you may just return home to your mother.” 

Alex pulled the phone back up to her ear as Astra threw ono her backpack.  “Mom, let me call you back.”  She hung up, shaking her head.  “I just want to say right now, I don’t remember anything from last night, and I’m sorry for what’s about to happen to you.  Be gentle with them, Astra.” 

“Sorry for…”  Chernovsky frowned.  “What—” 

Astra hit one of his minions at a sizable fraction of the speed of sound, and the man didn’t even have time to scream as the thunderclap threw him into a concrete wall, leaving a dent and sending the man collapsing limply to the ground.  Astra turned on her heal like lightning, hearing the _crack_ of bullets and explosions of gunfire, lunged so fast the wind whipped Chernovsky off of his feet, throwing herself between the reflexively ducking Alex and the bullets…

She was too slow, just a fraction of a second too slow.  Time seemed to slow down even more, and Astra felt her breath catch in her throat as the little piece of lead, just a fraction of an inch ahead of her questing fingers, dug through her Alexandra’s flannel shirt and into the Human’s soft flesh. 

Alex fell with a yell of pain, and Astra turned, eyes blazing with fury.  She didn’t kill the Humans outright, but only because she was more preoccupied with getting them _away_ from her Alexandra, her Human; one of the Russians crashed into a car door and crumpled, leaving a streak of blood, and Chernovsky screamed in panic as another of his lieutenants went sailing over his head to crash to the ground with a howl of pain on the other side of the mobster’s SUV.  Astra was at Alex’s side again in an instant, the Human cursing as she tried to staunch the blood.  Screams and yells of shock split the air as the bystanders ducked and ran for cover at the sound of gunshots.  Others, coming from further away, approached, apparently curious. 

“Alexandra, how bad is it?” Astra asked, slipping an arm around the younger woman’s back and another down to her knees, preparing to carry Alex if need be.  Someone was holding up a cell phone and taking video, but no time to worry about that now… 

“GnaaaaAAhhh, son of a _bitch_ , I need a medic…”  Alex swore again.  Astra casually knocked a panicked Chernovsky flat on his back with a backhand of her left, supporting Alex with her right.  “Bleeding’s not stopping…it’s still in there, no heat vision…” 

She yelped, then whined in pain as Astra swept her up into her arms.  “Come.  We are taking you to the hospital.” 

“Wait, don’t just reveal--Don’t just _fly_ …ASTRAAAAA!” 

It may not have been the _smartest_ idea, per se, but Astra was not in a _thinking_ frame of mind as she carried her Human off into the air, heedless of breaking DEO-mandated secrecy by using her powers in broad daylight. 

***

“He’s such a good baby, though,” Lena said adoringly as Liz switched Andrew to her other breast.  “Multiple hours and he was quiet, maybe a bit active but he didn’t mind being carried.” 

“I know, I’m so lucky,” Liz replied with a bit of a grin.  “You got him at his best, though.” 

“Still, he’s very well-behaved,” Lena stated.  “You’re such a good mother, I hope I’m a tenth as good with children…are you alright?” 

Liz sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes, but nodded.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I’m fine.  Thank you.  I’m sure you’ll be wonderful, you took care of my little munchkin just fine…are you and Kara planning to adopt?” 

Lena’s smile froze.  “It _is_ me and Kara?” 

“Yeah, you tried to get me to officiate but I convinced you to go to an actual chapel so it would be legal…I _may_ have been a little drunk and swept up in it all by that point.  That was after Kara ditched the frat boy.  Good taste, though, she made the obvious right choice.” 

Lena glanced over to Kara, who was unable to hide a blush.  The CEO grinned.  “Well.  I certainly didn’t expect that this time yesterday…but I have to admit that…well, Kara’s wonderful, obviously, and we already have kale dates every week…” 

“…and you _weren’t_ already married?” Liz asked in confusion.  “Seriously?  You only eat kale for someone you _really_ love.” 

Lena chuckled.  “I’ll, uh, let you and Lucy talk through things.”  She stood.  “I think that Kara and I have a bit to discuss.” 

“Go get ‘er, tiger.  You already put a ring on her, that was the hard part.” 

Lucy approached, wringing her hands in mild desperation.  “So.  Uh.  We’re married.” 

“Yes.  I’m…I’m sorry.  I know I shouldn’t have…” 

“No, I can see why I did it.  I was drunk and I’ve always, uh, had a weakness for redheads…and I like your kid…I mean he’s cute and all, and a sweet baby…I basically wasn’t thinking but you’re…kind of really a lot attractive to me.  And I like kids, not like want kids or having kids is really important to me but I like kids and you’re sweet and have a nice kid…” 

“Do you want a divorce?” Liz asked, a bit guarded.  Lucy wrung her hands. 

“Well…I mean…I probably should, I mean my dad’ll be pissed…but I’ve been meaning to piss him off anyway…and besides, you seem like a nice person and honestly, apparently I have pretty good taste when I’m drunk off my ass.”  Liz blushed at the compliment.  Behind Lucy, Lena swept Kara into a passionate kiss, only for the Kryptonian to carry her clear off of her feet and deepen the kiss.  “So, uh, I guess we should get divorced, if you want that, but I kind of don’t want to.” 

“We could wait?” Liz suggested, almost hopeful.  “I mean on a trial basis…” 

Lucy nodded thoughtfully as she considered the idea, but further conversation was forestalled by a heavily damaged police car screeching up to the curve, a panicked James, Winn, and Mon-El tumbling out.  “Kara!” Winn wailed hoarsely.  “Kara, there’s a gangster, with guns and he says we have his money!” 

“And we still don’t know who we married,” James cut in. 

“Oh, great, I _knew_ you should’ve gotten matching tattoos,” Mon-El groaned. 

“Tattoos?” James asked in confusion. 

“Yeah, to celebrate your mating?  And now you’ve gone and forgotten that you got married,” Mon-El explained “helpfully”.  “You were both pretty drunk, but it was a _great_ party.  Worth of Daxam at its finest!” 

Winn blanched, and even James looked a little pale.  “Oh,” Winn managed.  “Oh, shit.  Lyra’s going to kill me.” 

Kara attempted to form a coherent thought, hair still ruffled by Lena’s questing fingers, and failed to do so.  “Ahh…ummm…Did you find anything?”  She pulled Lena close unconsciously and the two women’s foreheads met, Lena closing her eyes and sighing.  “Uh, like, about what happened?” 

“What happened when?”  Mon-El asked. 

“Last night,” Lucy supplied, deadpan.  “Also, nice taste, James.” 

James facepalmed.  “Thanks, Lucy.” 

“Hey, I know I’m a catch, too, but I hope you two are happy.” 

“What happened last night?”  Mon-El chuckled.  “Oh, that’s easy.  I gave us some drugs I picked up off of a Thanagarian ex-pat, _guaranteed_ to give us a good time.  It’s like your Human drug called Ecstasy but better.” 

“…he’s an alien, isn’t he?” Liz asked.  Kara valiantly separated herself from Lena and rounded on Mon-El. 

“What the _hell_?” the Kryptonian demanded.  “You _drugged_ us?  You _drugged_ me?” 

“Oh, nothing bad, we used stuff like that all the time when we partied with our bedwarmers on Daxam…” 

“ _THIS ISN’T DAXAM AND YOU DON’T HAVE BEDWARMERS!_ ” Kara and Lucy roared at the same time. 

“Hey, it all worked out, didn’t it?  I mean, anyone who can’t see that Kara and that Luthor woman want to spend a few days inside each other is an idiot…” 

“And, apparently, so are some who _can_ see that,” Liz remarked.  The others, Mon-El included, turned to her.  She raised her left shoulder in a sort-of shrug, careful to not jostle her baby.  “Buddy, if you were actually dumb enough to drug _all_ of your friends before setting them loose in Vegas, I haven’t seen this kinda stupid since I had a customer who repeatedly violated the Look, Don’t Touch rule in front of my friend Fred two months ago.” 

“Fred?” James asked in spite of his current state of panic. 

“Bouncer at my current job.  He used to be a powerlifter, made it into World’s Strongest Man but didn’t make the top 10.  He’s about 6 foot 4 and built like an ox.”  Liz grinned.  “My current job’s really good, the bouncers have a lot of leeway and it’s an expensive club, the management’s strict.  Fred threw Handsy McShittyCologne out on his ass.” 

Lucy’s hand found itself rubbing between Liz’s shoulders.  “I’m so sorry…” 

“Nah, it’s fine, you do what you gotta do in this town.”  Her eyes belied her casual attitude, though. 

“So...” Lena cut in. 

“ _Right_ ,” Kara realized.  “Mon-El, you are in _so much trouble_ …” 

Three police cars pulled up without even turning on their sirens, one even mounting the curb and making Winn yelp.  Armed cops tumbled out, and Liz shrieked, jostling Andrew by accident. 

“POLICE OFFICERS!  SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING HANDS!” 

“What?  What do you want _us_ for?” Kara asked in confusion.  One of the policemen attempted to body-tackle her, and bounced off to collapse to the ground with a groan.  “Whoah!  Be careful!” 

“You fuckers stole our goddamn cruiser!” a uniformed woman yelled.  “Get on your fucking knees!” 

“…Oh, _shit_ ,” Lucy groaned.  “ _That’s_ where we got the cop car.” 

***

Astra barely waited for the automatic doors to open, and would’ve heat-visioned them to pieces if Alex hadn’t admonished her to _don’t break the hospital_ before her good arm slipped off of Astra’s shoulder.  As it was, she flew in, her Human semiconscious from shock, pain, and blood loss, and most of the waiting area’s eyes swiveled to gape at her. 

“Help!” Astra cried.  “My wife, she’s been shot!” 

It was twenty minutes, one emergency gurney, a completely failed attempt to get the distraught Kryptonian to move, and one slurred instruction from a still-bleeding Alex to _get out, let the doctors do their job_ before Astra realized what she’d said in front of her Human.  She half-squatted in an entirely too-small seat, the Humans giving her a wide berth, wringing her hands and sometimes looking through the walls to ensure that her Alexandra was alright, for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a couple of hours at most before they came to retrieve her. 

“Mrs. Danvers?” 

Astra looked up.  A dark-skinned woman in nurse’s scrubs smiled down at her.  “Your wife’s asking for you, Mrs. Danvers.” 

“Of course.”  Astra stood.  “Is she…” 

“She’ll be fine.  The bullet hit her shoulder blade but it should be alright in a month or two.  Just no active weightlifting or strenuous exercise.  She was lucky; the surgery was pretty simple and the bullet came out quickly.”  The nurse led Astra through a pair of doors and towards a recovery room.  “Now, Mrs. Danvers is on some painkillers, so she might be sleepy, and she probably won’t be able to talk for very long.” 

“Of course.”  Astra remembered how people reacted to even Kryptonian advanced medicines.  “Is she…taking it well?” 

The nurse _hmph_ ed.  “I hope that your species teaches you good sense as children, because that woman has argued with _every_ order she was given for taking care of herself.  She was asking me about _when she can go to a shooting range_.”  The nurse’s voice made it abundantly clear what she thought of _that_.  “I also hope that you’ve already got a green card, Mrs. Danvers, because she doesn’t need any extra stress right now.” 

“I am…protected,” Astra admitted cagily.  The nurse showed her to a door. 

“Thirty minutes, alright?” 

Astra nodded.  “I understand.” 

Alex was sitting propped up on several pillows, her shoulder wrapped in white bandages and arm in a sling.  “Hey,” she grinned weakly as Astra came in.  “You alright?” 

“I worried.  But I should be asking that question of you.”  Alex held out her good hand, and Astra took it, pulling up a stool to sit on. 

“’m fine,” Alex replied.  “Bit sore.  Drugs’re helping.” 

“You are off duty for a month,” Astra told her, brooking no disagreement.  Alex made a disgruntled noise and pouted, but Astra shook her head.  “No.  You will lie in bed and sit on the couch and let me take care of you.” 

“Hey, just ‘cause we’re married doesn’t mean you have to…”  Alex winced.  “Oh god.  I’m sorry.” 

“You have no need to apologize.”  Astra managed a weak, watery smile.  “I admit that I like cooking for you, almost as much as I like watching you try to cook for me.  The way that you look at me when I hum…” 

Alex smiled back.  “Hey.  I’m sorry for getting you stuck in this.  I can talk to J’onn and Lucy, get us divorced if you want, OK?  But it’s your decision, I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want.” 

Astra felt a surge of hope.  “You…you don’t want a divorce?” 

Alex’s smile faltered.  “I…I don’t,” she confessed.  “But I’ll get one if you don’t want…if you’re mad that we got…” 

Astra kissed her.  After a moment of stunned immobility, Alex’s good arm wrapped around the alien’s head and tugged her closer.  They surfaced for air half a minute later, and Astra pulled back, tears in her eyes as she smiled lovingly down at her Human.  “Alexandra, I _love_ being bonded with you.  My only regret is that I could not properly court you and prepare a Kryptonian ceremony in your honor.” 

“Well, we can renew our vows or something in a couple of months or a year,” Alex suggested.  “Oh god.  I love you.  I love my roommate the alien ex-terrorist who’s also my sister’s aunt…” 

“And we were married in Las Vegas by the King,” Astra added.  Alex chuckled, then sighed. 

“Yeah.  That’s us.  And you’re a Danvers now, you’re stuck with the family.  I have to tell you, though, Kara and I?  We should come with a warning.” 

Astra kissed her again, short and sweet.  “Even if I had received a warning, I would not have heeded it.  I love you, Alexandra Danvers.” 

“And I love you, Astra In-Ze.”  Alex sniffled, tears welling up in her eyes.  “Oh god.  I didn’t even propose.  Be my girlfriend and my wife?” 

“Absolutely.” 

They kissed again, broke for a breath, then again.  Finally, Astra pulled back regretfully. 

“I should probably leave, and determine where the others are.” 

“Yeah,” Alex nodded.  “I’ll be safe here, I think.” 

“I will return shortly,” Astra promised her wife.  Alex nodded. 

“I’ll be here.” 

***

“Hey, if you guys aren’t going to finish arguing with Kara anytime soon, do you mind if I pump?” Liz asked one of the policemen.  It had been nearly two hours since they’d been hauled down to the police station and begun haggling and attempting to contact the DEO; Lena was currently rocking the sleeping Andrew in her arms, cooing softly over the baby occasionally as Winn and James had a frantic conversation in the corner of the waiting room, Mon-El tried to look inconspicuous, and Kara argued at the processing desk with several other police officers. 

“Pump?” the man asked in confusion. 

“For my baby?  You know, milk, from my boobs?  So I have a bit extra to give my kid later?” 

The man screwed up his face.  “Can’t you, like, do that in the bathroom or something?” 

“Hey!” Lucy bristled, feeling personally offended.  “She’s a working woman, doing two jobs and feeding her kid backstage between dances, show some fucking respect.” 

“Watch your mouth…” 

“Come on!  What kind of asshole badmouths a working mom?  Just let her pump somewhere sterile for crying out loud.  Or at least not as dirty as the bathroom…” 

“Lucy, honey, it’s fine, I can…” 

“I’m not letting some flatfoot force you to pump in a police-station public bathroom,” Lucy insisted, protective instincts surging as she rounded on the cop again.  “Breastfeeding is beautiful and natural and my mother would tan your hide if she caught you treating a working woman like she’s embarrassing.  Also, I’m a JAG, I can help her sue you for a _trillion_ dollars, buster.” 

The policeman wilted in the face of Lucy’s barrage.  “Hey, I barely make more than minimum wage, I’m just a meter maid!”  He forced a smile to Liz.  “Uh, just, uh, try to keep it out of sight or something, I guess.”  He fled in search of coffee. 

“Thank you,” Liz said with a hand on Lucy’s arm, “but really, I could’ve done it in the bathroom, I’ve done it before.” 

“Like hell I’m gonna let some guy make my wife pump in the bathroom,” Lucy replied.  “My parents raised me right.”  She sighed, rubbing a hand along the bridge of her nose.  “I’m sorry.  You shouldn’t even be here, you deserve better than this.” 

“I can’t imagine anyone better,” Liz admonished her wife.  “Hey.  Look at me.”  Lucy complied.  “You’re pretty, you’re smart, you’re kind, you’re a firecracker and you like my kid.  What more can a woman want?”   

Lucy nearly cried at that, but Kara trotted over with a forced grin. 

“Heyyy!  OK, so, I’ve worked out a deal, thanks to J’onn, and he’s mad at me but also happy and proud so that’s going to be an interesting debriefing; we have to help the police bring in someone called Boss Chau, and I have to let them demonstrate a Taser on them because apparently they have dashcam footage of me Lena and me doing _things_ on the hood of the car we sort of stole and that one cop lady wouldn’t budge and I finally just gave in and said alright?  Anyway all the video is with the DEO now, it won’t go public, so don’t worry, Lena, it, uh, won’t get any worse.” 

Lena shook her head.  “I’m Lex Luthor’s sister, I’m used to bad press.” 

“I, uh, think you might have a new angle.  Um, apparently we’re lesbian icons now?” 

Lucy and James both attempted to high-five the Kryptonian, and Winn gave her a thumbs-up.  Lena managed a smile despite her confusion. 

“That’s…um, that’s wonderful.  Can we talk a bit more about the whole marriage thing after you’re, well, done getting tased?  Because I was wondering whose apartment we should use, I have a penthouse but I barely live in it…” 

“Easy, Lena,” James cautioned her.  “You’ve got time.  Honestly, I’m more worried about my and Kara’s jobs.” 

Kara went white.  “Oh _nnnnoooo_ , Miss Grant’s going to be SO angry!  Oh Rao, I should’ve told her about the scoop…oh, nooo…” 

Winn patted her awkwardly on the back.  “Don’t worry,” the Human told his friend.  “I think that you can make it up with an exclusive interview.” 

Kara buried her head in her hands.  “Oh, Rao, Winn, you just reminded me!  Lena, I can’t be with you as Kara Danvers, everybody will think you’re cheating when I meet up with you as Supergirl!” 

***

Astra left the hotel and resisted the urge to immediately kick off of the ground.  _We definitely should have acquired communicators before setting out_ , she noted to herself, mentally kicking herself for the oversight.  Right.  She just had to x-ray the _entire city_ until she found her niece, then gather everyone in Alexandra’s hospital room. 

Brilliant. 

She was torn from her thoughts by a screech of rubber on asphalt.  Yet another black vehicle pulled to a halt in front of her, and a short man with dark hair, wearing large sunglasses, emerged, flanked by two immense flunkies.  “You!” he snarled, jabbing a pudgy finger at Astra.   “Your friends stole my money!” 

“… _another_ one?” Astra asked in confusion.  “What did we steal from you and how?” 

“Your friend the pasty-faced boy won some money from me in pai-gow, but I know that he cheated!  That son of a bitch ran from me, but I _will_ get my money back, no matter…” 

“Unfortunately,” Astra interrupted, “all of my companions were so drunk last night that we remember nothing.  It would have been very difficult for us to cheat, especially the young man in question.  Excuse me, I have business to attend to.” 

_This_ made the fellow extremely angry.  “I am not a liar!  You and your friends cheated me of five hundred thousand dollars, and I want it _back_!” 

Astra could’ve flicked him across the road and through a building, but she was supposed to be working on _restraint_ and she didn’t want to disappoint Alex.  “I must be leaving.  My niece and my other companions are currently missing.” 

“Not good enough,” the man snarled.  He motioned to the larger of his bodyguards.  “Convince her, Little Tony.” 

“Yes, Boss Chau.”  The man pulled out a gun and pointed it at Astra, moving forward slowly.  “C’mon.  Into the car like the Boss says.” 

Astra lost her already extremely limited patience.  “I am afraid not.”  Her first blow was faster than sound, tearing the gun out of Little Tony’s grip and crushing it into a formless mass before discarding it behind her.  “Farewell.”  She twisted the other goon’s gun out of his grip, then slammed him bodily into Little Tony with one blow, both men collapsing to the ground, and turned to walk away.  “Do not follow me.” 

“Aunt—uh, ma’am!  Wait, ma’am!”  Astra’s head snapped around. 

“Kara?” 

Supergirl landed in full uniform, cape just a little bit rumpled and skirt just a bit visibly pleated.  “Put your hands in the air, Chau!” she ordered the gangster, who cursed and dropped the AK-47 he’d pulled out of his open SUV. 

“Son of a…I’m going to sue you!  You and your damn President!  I paid good money to your President so the FBI wouldn’t go after me!  I’m an important man, damn it, how _dare_ you…” 

Astra punched him just hard enough to knock him out, and Chau crumpled. 

“Aunt Astra!” Kara protested.  “The police are just around the corner!” 

“I am short of patience,” Astra replied.  “Alexandra has been injured, and you were not at the rendezvous.” 

“What?  Alex?  Is she…” 

“She is alive and recuperating.  One bullet to the shoulder, it was extracted with supposed relative ease.  Where are the others?” 

“On the way, we were almost arrested, J’onn kept us out of jail but I had to pretend to be hurt by a Taser.”  Kara rolled her eyes as wailing police cars drove up.  “Officer Salazar, she’s the one whose car we took while drunk, she was _really_ set on shocking me.  Lena also has to buy her a new car; Officer Salazar was _really_ mad.  Can you take me to Alex?  Is she awake?” 

“She was when I left less than a half-hour ago,” Astra confirmed.  “Are you well?  Have you discovered who married whom?” 

“I married Lena Luthor,” Kara admitted, blushing.  “She’s…well, we’ve been friends for months anyway…and she’s really smart and nice and sweet and kind and wonderful, so I mean, I don’t know if this is a good idea or not but I think I’m going to stay married to her…” 

Astra hugged Kara right there.  “You made a good choice,” she told her niece.  “Lena Luthor will make a fine mate for you.”  She pulled back with a smile.  “I assume that there will be a formal bonding ceremony for our family?” 

Kara blushed deeply, shifting from foot to foot.  “Um, maybe?  We still need to…”  She checked the police officers handcuffing Boss Chau behind her, and amended what she was about to say.  “We need to work out some details.  And the pictures made national news, so…well, when we get back there’ll be damage control.  But we’re going to stay married, Lena’s really excited and I’m so happy, and we just don’t want to end it.” 

Astra nodded approvingly, looking over Kara’s shoulder to where the others were getting out of the police cars.  “You have grown into a fine young woman.  Now, if you can finish with the police swiftly, I must return to Alexandra now that I have found you.” 

“Right!”  Kara turned and plastered her Supergirl grin on her face, striking one of her heroic poses.  Lena swooned but was caught by Lucy and James before she could fall.  “Let’s get this vacation wrapped up.” 

***

_DEO headquarters, National City, California.  24 hours later._  

J’onn J’onzz rubbed his eyes again, pinched the bridge of his nose, and tried very hard to shut out all of the brain-noise cluttering the vicinity.  “Run that by me again, Agent Danvers,” he rumbled. 

“Sir,” Alex replied, standing straighter despite the heavy bandages on one of her shoulders and the Kryptonian holding her up and resting her chin on Alex’s good shoulder.  “Mon-El used alien Ecstasy to drug us without telling us before we went out to enjoy our vacation in Las Vegas.  We won over 750 million dollars and are now each independently wealthy; Kara attempted to embody the sin of gluttony by gorging herself on six all-you-can-eat buffets; Lucy married a stripper…” 

“Hello!” Liz said with a nervous smile and a wave.  She looked rather more out of her depth now that she was in a _secret government base_ with two Kryptonians, a Daxamite, and an actual _Martian_ , but gamely stuck close to Lucy and tried not to look around too much. 

“…with a baby, they’re going to stay married; Kara and Lena got married and won a bunch of money from a Chinese mobster with Winn and James; Astra and I were married in the Elvis chapel and played Russian roulette with Russians.  That, uh, ended with us even richer.  And James and Winn got married to each other as well.  Then we seem to have won a lot in poker, I’m not certain that Astra and I didn’t count cards or X-ray there but we were _really_ drunk so it’s hard to say exactly what happened.  Due to the drugs, we woke up without our memories of the night before, so we had to spend most of yesterday piecing it together.  Sir.” 

The Martian made a sound like a garbage disposal under Sith lightning torture.  “Why did I ever agree to do this?”  He shook his head and looked up with a sigh.  “Who’s staying married and who needs a divorce?” 

There was a general shuffling of feet.  J’onn’s weary look turned into a glare.  Kara nudged Winn, who cleared his throat. 

“Well, uh…we’re…um…” 

“Kara and I are happy with our situation for now,” Lena interrupted, trying to salvage the situation before it could collapse. 

“And Alexandra and I have agreed to remain married,” Astra added, placing a kiss on her Human’s cheek.  Alex blushed furiously. 

“Liz and I are alright, too,” Lucy admitted.  “I know it’s probably…well…look, I’ve made a decision and I’m alright with the situation.” 

J’onn looked Liz up and down with narrowed eyes, a strained smile pressed onto her face, then blinked.  “Well.  Take her down to Human Resources and have Pam fill out the confidentiality forms.” 

Lucy blinked in surprise, then nodded.  “Yessir.” 

“Mr. Schott?” 

“Um…we’re going to stay married.  For a few weeks.  Just to see what it’s like.”  James nodded in agreement. 

J’onn pinched the bridge of his nose again.  “Right.  You…you deal with that.”  He glared sourly at Mon-El.  “You, you’re confined to quarters for the next month.”  Mon-El groaned but the Martian was unmoved. 

“As for the rest of you…Supergirl, Ms. Luthor…or I suppose I should say Mrs. Luthor, or whatever name you’re planning to use—I’m having our legal experts other than Ms. Lane deal with the publicity fallout, you should go meet with them to deal with that.  And sign those confidentiality forms.  Agent Danvers, Ms. In-Ze…” 

“I would prefer _Mrs._ , at least around my wife,” Astra cut in, one arm gently wrapped around her Human.  “And we are considering hyphenation.”  The Martian nodded with a wave of his hand. 

“Whichever.  Danvers, bed rest for a week, light activity for three, and I don’t want to see you on duty for another damn month.” 

“Sir...” 

J’onn ignored her.  “Mrs. In-Ze, I want you to make sure she sticks to my orders.  Now both of you are dismissed and I don’t want to see Agent Danvers on this base for any reason for a month, understood?” 

“Of course,” Astra replied, sweeping a protesting Alex up into her arms.  “Thank you, Martian.” 

J’onn grunted, then called out as Astra began to fly off.  “Oh, and one more thing—congratulations.  The ceremony was beautiful.”  He shook his head and turned back to return to his office.  “I swear,” he muttered to himself, “I’m _never_ going to Las Vegas.” 

***

Alex leaned back into her wife’s hold with a grumble, but then sighed as Astra wrapped her arms around the Human, kissing the younger woman’s cheek. 

“Alright, so we need to figure out what to do with the money,” Alex began. 

“We have nearly two hundred million dollars,” Astra noted.  “That is more than enough for any Human.” 

“Yeah.  So…I was thinking about my bucket list.  We can probably use a hundred million to set up and fund a clean-energy charity, of course, but that still leaves us 87 million.  And, uh…ok, how about we go one by one, taking turns?”  Astra’s hands settled over Alex’s abdomen, and the Human sighed happily. 

“As you wish, my love,” Astra murmured, lips ghosting over her Human’s earlobe.  “Shall I begin?” 

“Um, sure…”  Alex’s eyes fluttered closed as Astra kissed her ear. 

“Very well.  I have always wished for a grand, traditional Kryptonian marriage ceremony.  Bonding bracelets, long robes, and all that.  Are you willing to go through that with me?” 

“Of course!”  Alex’s brow furrowed for a moment.  “I think Superman owes me a favor.  He definitely owes Kara a favor—we can do it in the Fortress of Solitude?” 

“That would work,” Astra agreed.  “Your first wish?” 

“I want a baby,” Alex admitted.  “That was always a thing for later—adoption and sperm banks are _expensive_ , but I always…well, I want to be able to raise someone, to have that kind of bond with them, and to see them grow up.  I know it’s kind of stupid, but…” 

“No,” Astra interrupted.  “I understand.”  She kissed her Human’s cheek, and Alex hummed as she turned into it.  “We can most certainly raise a child, although perhaps we should allow ourselves a year or so to become accustomed to simply living as the two of us?” 

“That sounds good.”  Alex turned her head partway to kiss her wife full on the lips, and it was Astra’s turn to sigh and let her eyes flutter shut.  “How about another from you?”  

“I want to be yours,” Astra murmured.  “Forever.” 

“Hey, no easy ones,” Alex giggled, elbowing the Kryptonian with her good arm.  “We both want that.” 

“That does not change my desire,” Astra pointed out. 

Alex chuckled.  “Alright.  Then my next one is I want to be with you to love for the rest of my life.” 

“Cheater,” Astra shot back.  Alex stuck her tongue out. 

“Can’t say that if you already used it on me.” 

“Mmh.  May we find a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special that Kara told me about?” 

Alex groaned.  “Sure, baby.  But…you’re gonna regret it.” 

“Not if I have you by my side when we see it,” Astra replied.  Alex groaned even more loudly. 

“Oh god, why?  Alright.  But only because I love you.” 

“Your turn,” Astra pointed out, kissing her Human on the nose. 

“Right.  Um…aw, hell.  This is a crazy one, but can we buy an airplane?” 

“An airplane?” 

“Yeah.  Uh, when I was a kid I wanted to fly a Supermarine Spitfire fighter.  Can we buy one?” 

Astra laughed out loud, body shuddering with the sound.  “We have well over a hundred million dollars.  I think that we can buy anything that you like.” 

“I love you,” Alex confessed for about the 15th time in the past two hours, half-rolling over and attempting to cup Astra’s cheek in her hand. 

“I know,” Astra replied, and she leaned up into her Human’s lips to eagerly claim them. 

***

And Astra kidnapped—I mean, involuntarily airlifted—Donald Trump and left him on Nauru, Kara and Lena had a double re-wedding with Alex and Astra in the Fortress of Solitude, James and Winn procrastinated on getting divorced for decades, Lucy and Liz pissed off Lucy’s father at Thanksgiving, and they all lived happily ever gayfter. 

**Author's Note:**

> My grandma (dad’s mom) works as a lactation consultant at a hospital. She works ridiculously hard to help women, particularly new mothers, feel at ease feeding their kids (and figure out how to help the baby latch on properly, and that's apparently really tough). Don’t make breastfeeding women do it or pump in a bathroom, it’s like asking someone to make their 6-year-old eat in a public restroom. And don’t mom-shame, it’s uncool. If I, a probably-straight white guy, can cease to give a fuck about public breastfeeding after a mere week as a docent at a natural history museum, society can let women just feed the damn kids in public. 
> 
> Manhell, even when I actively try to write him as a non-asshole, always seems to be a failure of a person. 
> 
> The future of this fic, expanded upon:   
> Trump IS President in this but don’t worry, Astra kidnaps him and leaves him on Nauru, then he’s impeached and removed from office, Pence fails to get anything done before a massive Democratic wave in 2018 and the Dems basically obstruct literally everything he tries to do until 2020, at which point Pence loses in a landslide to Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL), a Democrat with two prosthetic legs and a decorated military service record. 
> 
> Kara and Lena adopt 6 cats, 2 dogs, and 3 children, and live happily ever after with many cuddles and kisses and soft gay dates. Lena buys a Chinese restaurant so she can feed her Kryptonian potstickers whenever she likes. 
> 
> Winn and James procrastinate on getting divorced and never really do finalize the paperwork. They continue to be Superhero and Guy In The Chair until retirement. 
> 
> Lucy and Liz stay together, infuriating General Lane, and raise baby Andrew in Midvale in a house near the Danvers’. They live happily ever after and grow old joking about the misadventures of their youth. 
> 
> Astra and Alex have two daughters and semi-retire after about a decade to live in the country. They live happily ever after, and regularly go flying with each other. Astra becomes a part-time superhero and fills the rest of her days with romancing Alex and writing science-fiction; Alex eventually gets encouraged to become a “consultant” with the DEO by J’onn, Astra, and Kara so that she can spend more time with her family and not get hurt so much, and spends her days alternately saving the world, teaching her kids mad science, and cuddling with her wife. I presume that they hyphenate their names to Danvers-Ze but either way they cuddle and are cute.


End file.
